Public Display of Affection
by Vani Jane
Summary: ONESHOT Where the Cat surpasses his Master in the matters of butt humping in the most epic way – lunch period in school. AmericatxIggycat & USUK/UKUS Rating due to cats.


**Title: **Public Display of Affection

**Series:** Axis Powers Hetalia

**Pairing: **Americat & Iggycat / Burger & Scones; America & England / Alfred & Arthur; brief mention of England & America / Arthur & Alfred;

**Rating:** T

**Genre:** Humour

**Warning: **Alternate Universe, Nekotalia, Human Names, Animal Breeding

**Disclaimer:** This is a work of fiction by a fan for fans. Axis Powers Hetalia rightfully belongs to Hidekaz Himaruya.

**Summary**: Where the Cat surpasses his Master in the matters of butt humping in the most epic way – lunch period in school.

**Author's Note: **Our school has a lot of cats walking and lazying around, they usually mind their own business but one time, when my friends and I were having lunch, this just to happened. Uh, the USUK moments are just in there for my fangirl purposes... I can't write a fic without fluff. Forgive me. I fail. OTL

Arthur Kirkland was frowning and muttering curses as he was dragged by his... best friend, Alfred F. Jones, to the outdoor cafeteria. It was still too early to have lunch – ten minutes too early! - and he still had tons of paperwork to finish but Alfred was such an impatient glutton, waltzing in the office and dragging him by hand to the cafeteria.

The angry student council president was forced down to sit on a wooden seat. His arms were crossed and his brows furrowed in annoyance.

"Babe, seriously, you've got to take a break." Alfred said and Arthur wanted to murder the blush that decided to flaunt its arse on his usually pale cheeks.

"Don't call me that!" Arthur scowled, "And it's still ten minutes early to take a break! I could have finished-"

"Yeah, whatever and those bags under your eyes tell me you've been taking make-up lessons from Yao." Alfred rolled his eyes. Couldn't his one and only best friend – soon to be lover, he told himself – see that he was only doing this for his own good? The man overworked himself most of the time and would even skip meals!

Arthur glared at Alfred, he _did not _take make-up lessons from Yao and Elizabeta said the concealer worked perfectly to hide the bags under his eyes!

"You shouldn't forget to retouch every once in a while, babe." Alfred said as if reading the Brit's thoughts, patting him on the shoulder. He let out a breath before changing the topic, "Since you forgot to prepare your lunch today – I checked – just sit here while I go buy us some lunch – and for the love of God, Artie, don't you dare run away."

Giving him one more pat on the shoulder, Alfred went to buy the both of them lunch, leaving Arthur to stare at his back with the blush still showing itself off.

_Stupid American... Always doing things at his own pace..._

A few minutes later, Alfred returned with two sets of lunch plates. He set one before Arthur and the Brit stared at all the food on his plate. Surely Alfred didn't think-

"You better finish all that, Artie." Alfred said after seeing the look on Arthur's face, "I know you skipped dinner last night and breakfast this morning."

Arthur would've normally argued but Alfred used a tone that meant no buts and his stomach growled. He quietly took the fork and spoon then with all the grace and poise of a true gentleman, ate his lunch.

As he ate the burger he had produced from thin air, Alfred looked as Arthur finally remembered to be human and eat. He was supposed to be relieved but there was still something that nagged him at the back of his head.

"Say, Artie," Alfred said after swallowing a bite of his burger.

"Yes?" Arthur responded, looking at his best friend.

"Nuthin'." Alfred shrugged with a grin as Arthur began to form a glare towards him, "I just like watching you."

The glare softened but it was still there for a few seconds before Arthur attacked his lunch to avoid talking and looking at the American.

"But seriously, something's bothering me." Alfred said a few moments later, "I just don't know w-"

_Meoooowwww!_

A disturbingly loud meow from the cats that loitered around the school caught the attention of the students within the area – and Arthur choked on his lunch while Alfred, after turning to see the sight behind him, sputtered out the burger he had been munching on.

There, where everyone could see their furry arses, was Scones, Arthur's beloved cat, being butt humped by Burger, Alfred's spoiled cat. And from the looks of it, Scones was enjoying himself. _Oh Lord._

"EHMYGAWD! Cat Sex!" A female sophomore announced before taking a picture and Arthur felt like burying himself. The female was well known around school to be loud, brash and rude – and everything taken by her camera was uploaded to the internet.

Burger bit onto Scones' ear, making the smaller cat purr loudly and shiver under the larger one. Each thrust elicited a sound from Scones and the once refined cat didn't mind lowering down the volume.

Burger purred when he wasn't biting onto Scones. He had finally trapped Scones beneath him and immediately proceeded to hump the cat. Burger wasn't particularly sure where they were and why there were many humans but at that moment, he couldn't quite care as Scones was purring for him.

It didn't take long for the cats to finally settle down and the people going back to their own business. Both Alfred and Arthur stiffly tried to get back to their lunch and ignore their cats for the fear of gossip.

_How on earth did that cat get out of the house?_

"Looks like Burger scored before you did, bud!" A hand slapped Alfred on the shoulder and the empty chair beside him was filled by the red-eyed German, Gilbert. "He brought the animal out of Scones."

Gilbert laughed at his own joke as Alfred blushed as red as the ketchup on his burger.

A light chuckle followed, "I wonder if our _petit_ _Anglais _is just as loud his _petit chat_."

A couple _honhon_'s later, Francis had the mark of a fist on his cheek.

"I wouldn't be the one screaming." Arthur stated before gracefully standing up and retreating back to his office, leaving Alfred gaping at his back.

Gilbert patted his American buddy on the shoulder, "Don't worry your arsehole, bud – I've got just the thing to prepare you – a plug!"

The next day, fist marks on the cheek became all the rage in school.

**The End**

**Author's Note: **Whut the hell did I just do there? I have no clue. I wanted to do a Nekotalia fic but I epically failed. OTL B-But this did happen~ I have the photo evidence! Though, the fluffy USUK bits weren't part of course, just the cat sex. XD

I will attempt once more to do a true Nekotalia fic so, please~ readers await for it! (Just don't get your hopes up that it will be in the near future. OTL)

Thanks for reading, I hope you had fun and please, dear readers, **don't forget to leave a review or critique**! This was done in a rush, in thirty minutes no less – so, there are errors here and there. But please, **no flames **– be gentle with me!


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